WANT TO GO? The Women of Biracial Children Support Group If you dont know why we need support, you havent walked in our shoes. Nell Fleming WHEN: 6 p.m. on the third Monday of each month CHILD CARE: Available on-site for $5 per hour per child INFO: Call Nell Fleming at 309-825-9133, e-mail Zenith Replica nfleming@ywca charleston.org or visit .org.
Faced with problems raising her biracial daughter in conservative central Illinois, Nell Fleming joined a support group of mothers who shared similar experiences. She wound up leading the group.
Now, Fleming is starting a similar program here. The Women of Biracial Children Support Group will hold its first meeting Jan. 18 in the YWCA's O'Connor-Autz Room.
When the Y hired Fleming as its racial justice coordinator last fall, the support group was one of the first things that came to mind, she said Wednesday.
She started sending e-mails and hanging fliers to promote the group last month, concentrating on social service agencies, boys and girls clubs, doctors' offices and black-owned businesses.
"It's been difficult because places like Wal-Mart don't have community bulletin boards anymore. Kroger let me hang one, outside on a pop machine."
While hanging fliers, Fleming was often asked why mothers of biracial children need support. The question itself helps illustrate the need. "If you don't know why we need support, you haven't walked in our shoes."
In the monthly meetings, she expects to discuss issues like identity development, neighborhood and school diversity, hair care and Jacob&co Replica dealing with racist family members.
Fleming can speak from experience. As she and her husband prepared for childbirth, they got plenty of family advice.
She grew up in southern Illinois - "coal country," she says - and met her Chicago-born husband in the university town of Bloomington.
The birth of Ronnell, now 71/2, was planned, she said. My husband and I definitely wanted to have child, although we waited about 10 years. We received a lot of advice."
Giving birth to a mixed-race child was a big issue. "We had family members urging us to consider what we were doing. We had family members telling us to move out west to a ranch far away from other people."
Things improved when they moved to Charleston three years ago, Fleming said. "I personally had a more difficult time in central Illinois than I did here. I was surprised to find such a welcoming community here in Charleston. The culture here, it's like home."
embroidered patches
Not that things are perfect. "Take the Reynolds family in Montgomery [who were abused by police]. Their experience is vastly different from mine, and yet they're 20 minutes away.
"Knowing that can happen, it keeps you on edge. Living in West Virginia, we've had excellent experiences, excellent schools. But again, every single mother you meet has their own experience, their own neighborhood."
Fathers will not be welcome at the support group meetings, Fleming said. "In Bloomington we had some discussions about that. Some of the mothers wanted to involve their husbands." When they tried that, "We lost a group of single women, divorced moms. They didn't feel comfortable speaking their minds in front of other men.
"If people want a family situation, the
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